How will I say it?
I always wanted to shout to the world every time I felt any pain. But even once no one knows how it hurts every time I am suffering from pain. I am very shy in terms of my emotional crisis. I never shared it to anyone. I cannot find right terms to be used how it hurts inside. I still manage to smile and find humor in everything I saw and said. Sometimes I thought maybe because I am already vulnerable to pain, but I am not. I always find myself crying and I cannot find someone that can ease up the pain I felt inside.
It’s true what everyone claimed, it sounds corny to few but for me it is not. I always find refuge to the LORD above. It is the only way where I know can understand everything. I cannot tell the people I love if I am hurt because of this person because I know they will HATE the certain person that cause me pain since they had never connection with the certain person. If a circumstance causes me pain they find someone who causes it and hate them. If the system causes me suffering they will blame the system. I already figured it out what will be their reactions but it will not lessen the pain I felt. I am not a type to ask for advice what should I do and have done, but unsolicited advice are still welcome (Well, I listen but never put everything in mind). I just lift everything to the most high. Sometimes it make me smile since it came to my mind that I make Jesus a puzzle solver when I am broken I let him make me whole again and if few pieces are missing He will fill it up.
What the point is what Mother Theresa said “Love ‘til it hurts and it hurts no more.”
But ouch!!!! It really do hurt..
originally written 4:55 A.M. March 12, 2014